I find it interesting how in two years, a lot can change, but a lot can stay the same, too. Reading my past posts there are a lot of things that are unbelievably different. Most obviously, my location. If you had asked me two years ago where I would be living in 2013, I would have told you "Fort Collins! Where else?" But here I am, in Tacoma, Washington. And the differences don't just stop there. We own a house. Similar question; would I have thought we would own a house in 2013? The answer would have been an emphatic "No way!" Here are a few more...Micaiah is in a regular, non-charter public school; Serafina attends a private Christian school; we have three chickens...the list goes on.
Many things, however, remain the same. Most often, it seems the thing that doesn't change is me. I still struggle with the same issues I have always struggled with. Body image. Self esteem. Self worth. Finding friends. Geez, am I still in middle school, or what? Fortunately, there is something else that never changes. It's God. God will never change. God will never stop loving me. Whether I am in Fort Collins or Tacoma, He loves me. If I feel fat or thin, He loves me. If I don't think anyone likes me, guess what? He still loves me. And yes, I still struggle with believing that. A LOT. Not so much in my head, but in my heart. I KNOW He loves me. I believe it to be Truth. Do I always feel that way? No. But that does not change the fact that it is the Truth. Truth is Truth whether you believe it or not.
Maybe someday my heart will actually get in line with my head, and truly, fully understand how much He loves me. Enough to send Jesus to die on the cross for me. But until that day, that Truth is what I am going to continue to believe to be the truth...the only Truth worth believing. His love is something I am glad will never change.
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